Wow ...... yeah, it's come to this. The blog is over due to my elaborate scheme of building career being pretty much over, due to all my allies in the enterprise basically turning their backs on me.
I've been forgotten. And this blog? Whatever, I'm the only one who fucking reads it, let alone posts on it.
Yeah, here comes the self-pity ... which disgusts me as much as it would anyone else. But self-pity seems to be an instinct for human beings. Hey, on the up side, at least I'm human.
In conclusion (let's just get this shit over with), I thought I could succeed in my plans this time and change the world, but let's face it, that's not gonna happen and I can't blame anyone else, I can only blame me. Cowards can't lead a company, and I am a coward ... in more ways than anyone else will ever realize. I'm believe it or not the most powerful organism in this galaxy (long story), yet I'm afraid of everything. Even afraid to tell the most wonderful person in my life how much I love her.
Do you think blogs are overrated?
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Cockblocked
I don't know what the future holds ... the more I think about it, the more I lose the belief that I do know.
Every so often my dreams come crashing down. I want to be a screenwriter. I want to be a director. I want to have a work of art stick around after I've kicked the bucket. I have dozens upon dozens of ideas that could be made into films or plays or TV series. But those ideas are always cockblocked by the refusal of my peers to cooperate with me and wait out the chaos in order to see the end triumph.
What will happen to me if I really do fail? Will I be allowed a quick, merciful death? Will I be rewarded for my efforts in a way different from what I was looking for? Or will I be dragged through another century of the same old crap?
So far there is only one person that can make everything right. She walked away from me a long time ago, never to return.
Every so often my dreams come crashing down. I want to be a screenwriter. I want to be a director. I want to have a work of art stick around after I've kicked the bucket. I have dozens upon dozens of ideas that could be made into films or plays or TV series. But those ideas are always cockblocked by the refusal of my peers to cooperate with me and wait out the chaos in order to see the end triumph.
What will happen to me if I really do fail? Will I be allowed a quick, merciful death? Will I be rewarded for my efforts in a way different from what I was looking for? Or will I be dragged through another century of the same old crap?
So far there is only one person that can make everything right. She walked away from me a long time ago, never to return.
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